why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
