I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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