when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
