you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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