toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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