My balls are so social today.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
