They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
