Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
