She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
