Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
