i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
