Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
