Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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