I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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