You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the day after is always just damage control
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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