please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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