fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ladies don't puke and tell
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
