I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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