Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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