there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Im part way to drunk.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
