i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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