would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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