She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
