Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
