We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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