Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
