And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bring me that man meat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
