it wasn't lemon gatorade
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
