She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
