two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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