i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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