its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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