please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
