I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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