she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
