He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
