Can Purell be used as lube?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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