I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
