I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
