Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were trust falling into bushes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
