I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
