very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
