Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
