A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
