i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
