Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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