don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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