So drunk its hurt
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
