Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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