I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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