I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
