Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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