a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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