she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
